i'd be more successful online if I wasn't doing this IRL

hot-takes and more consistent writing would bring in the bacon, but I'm not chronically online for a reason

Two years ago after an ongoing conversation with someone I respect who called me in on a fuck up, I realised I had lost something: I was no longer on the ground, working with people, doing the steady but meaningful slow work of change that had got me to the awards, books, headlines. I had become a figure known for something big. That made me someone who worked from a laptop five days a week; the opportunities that had come my way couple with the pandemic had turned my normal work of organising into only a fortnightly zoom call, and stuff I’d never done before like panels, commentating, media, speeches, award ceremonies and brand content creation became a much more regular occurrence. I realised that the entrapment of social status had began to seduce me, somewhat understandably because I had left my $28,000 a month job and was struggling for money. But as I was journalling on how I’d fucked up, I realised this was part of the reason why I had stepped out of my integrity.

In the space of four years I had changed laws in three countries, helped change global Instagram policy, gained 100k followers, worked with the UN, and was working on my second book. At this point, instead of conversations on the ground. I found myself on TV and stages a lot; people listening as if I was a finished article. I was offered tens of thousands of pounds from companies and corporations I vehemently disagreed with. Life changing money I’d never been offered before (or since), like £30,000 to host a panel, deliver content and kick off a campaign for Amazon Prime. I turned this down within hours then frantically drank two glasses of red wine, but the offer made me pause and think about the space I had begun to occupy. It became obvious that I could easily make money and become well-known the more I said yes and stopped questioning why so much, but I felt increasingly resistant to.

A couple of years before, when a political party I’d worked with during campaigning cold called me on a no-caller ID number asking for my public support and alignment with a famous politician, it felt off the record and icky. I was now that person: someone people could align with the increase their credibility. I didn’t like that power. I didn’t like the game. This was part of the reason I decided to release the decision to reject my OBE publicly. I thought doing so would be a clear signal to institutions, political parties and big corps that my morals couldn’t be bought and that my beliefs meant more to me than honours, money or status.

The aforementioned fuck up and accountable but healing conversations with the peer who had called me in was the final moment of realisation that things needed to change. Sticky conversations, honesty, transparency accountability and healing were what I cared about. It was the time to pivot my work and life. I had learning to do, work to do and maybe I wasn’t doing it in the best way. Ultimately, I needed to get out of the tower, off the pedestal and back to what I was good at, and what I loved; working on the ground, undermining my ego, and doing grassroots work. The plan became: make your work more than 50% offline, humble yourself, write what you love, remove brands power to pay your rent, answer to community not capitalistic interests. Do this work of gender equality in real life more than you talk about it online, just like you used to.

I began training as a facilitator, working 3 days a week in schools across the country on the expectations of gender, how they socialise us and what it leads to and passed my training in April. The other two days of the week I work on UK work; writing, organising, designing and delivering content for Beyond Equality, speaking and social media content. Technically, I have give or take four jobs, and I see all of them as sitting under the umbrella of “activism”.

A pivot like this though impacts a lot, and part of being someone who works on the ground grassroots style and travelling the country running workshops on gender means running your own platforms becomes much much harder. If my job was completely freelance and I only worked online – like many of the big names on social media in these spaces do – you’d be getting much more consistent, high-designed, high-quality content. But I don’t. My capacity is stretched across IRL and online now.
and so, you’ll notice…

I don’t use news hooks or hot takes to drive my content and engagement
There is so much happening in the news and zeitgeist relating to the work I do. Why? Because these power systems run the world AND MISOGYNY AND INEQUALITY NEVER SLEEPS BABY!!!!! So many creators and writers on Substack and across socials use news hooks to lead their content, giving you finger-on-the-pulse hot takes that offers perspectives on stories you know about. In order to do this, a creator or writer has to be chronically online and consistently available to research, strategise, create, write, edit and post content within hours or days of any said event. That is financially impossible for most people (including me). I see so many writers and creators doing this and feel so inadequate online because I can’t offer this. It’s served here as the most valuable content, but I try to remember that being on the ground working my butt off to have these conversations in local communities always has to come first, and just because followers and people online can’t see me doing that, doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter. In fact, I would argue its the most valuable version of this work I could be doing, and that a huge proportion of the digestible, hot-take feminist content I see online is not applicable to IRL on-the-ground conversations. It feels fun and empowering to read, but tweets, memes and pithy takes do… well, nothing in local community work, which is why IRL work is so challenging and important.

Because I’m not hooked into the zeitgeist as I am local communities, you’ll notice my online work which always discusses misogyny, sexual violence, inequality, gender and my experiences, won’t peak and trough in commitment to those topics depending on appetite for it. When big moments happen in the world, conversations around those topics ignite, but just know I will have been here 365 slowly plugging away. There’s something soothing about not feeling the need to jump on to a news hook because I’m safe in the knowledge I’m always doing this. I do, though, sometimes feel frustrated that the loudest voices talking on these topics are not doing work on the ground, but rather have a very strong full-time online presence.

Going forward in this space – a beautiful one that shifts and reshapes alongside my career – the dream is to be able to lift the veil on facilitation and IRL work more. The challenge though, is because I work with teenagers I must be incredibly careful what I share, and because I work for an organisation there are boundaries on what I can/should talk about: the content we run is their IPA.

I am slowly finding new ways to bring you into this world, though. Recently I travelled to the NSW outback to deliver workshops and looked into the history of the area through a decolonial lens. I’ll be making reels about the places we visit and Australia’s history on Instagram (because it is ultimately UK history, too) as well as writing about the reality of facilitation and workshops on here ethically. As I figure this all out, just know the writing you get from me is organic, so it comes when it comes. I don’t post as much as others because I’m on the ground, and this does translate to less engagement and less supporters which makes sense because we get used to lots of hooky content, fast! now! Sometimes you might wonder why this space is a little quiet before noticing that’s it’s much more active for a period of weeks.

I’ll always be here, but the kids I work with must take priority so the output isn’t clockwork.

I think all of this is why it means so much that you support me, because you’re supporting someone who isn’t just talking about it but being about it. And this space allowed me to make that transition easier. If you’re a paying subscriber, you’re not paying for online hot-takes. You’re supporting grassroots work, too. Though you’ll still see me write and speak with the odd photoshoot or brand deal in the future, this space has given me the freedom to put on-the-ground work at the centre of my mission, and for that I’m forever grateful.

Love u.

G x