This one made me cry. My husband is a lot like Jordy in ways that I need and we really try to “do” love. We’re both still learning as we go but I completely agree with you
This is so beautiful and wonderfully written. I particularly like the idea holding love up to our friendship standards and find your point on scarcity mentality sadly true. It made me think of why Sex and the City (say what you will about it) has been pinned up as such a timeless classic, especially with its "being each others soulmates" message. Perhaps as it was one of the first key pop culture moments that showed us the prevalence / formidable power of female friendships over romantic love..
That's so amazing❤️❤️! This post made me feel like I'm drinking hot chocolate on a chilly day with a blanket wrapped round me. We really should change our expectations on this thunderbolt s*** so 100% agree. The words "I love you" and then letting people down are overused and tired, but you just can't argue with these love actions. Accepting you're not a morning person made me laugh. You'd totally got me by the time I read about playing the song you're into at the time (arrogant jerks simply would NEVER do this😂)
this is absolutely beautiful. love is a verb, something you choose to work towards together. It is so inspiring to read how you have navigated so many twists and turns and still managed to show up for each other. I verb this!
Beautiful thoughts, it’s encouraging to see the dissection of your relationship and how hard you both obviously work to communicate, understand and meet the others’ needs. The simplicity of some of them is really touching. Thanks for sharing x
Those descriptions of Jordy’s love for you made me feel really emotional - so many simple but great things, that show how attuned he is to who you really are, and what you fundamentally need.
There’s a book called “Conversations On Love” that interviews writers, artists, journalists etc on the subject of love and probably my favourite writer, Roxane Gay wrote that meeting someone to do love with is in itself luck.
To meet someone who just so happens to want to embark on this journey with you? Fabulous.
I feel the journeys can be short or long but they are still a journey people choose to take. Which in itself is amazing so long as we don’t continue to choose a person who’s hurting us.
It feels like love is challenging but not draining. It’s frustrating but not harmful. It’s like learning a new skill alongside someone and you’re working together and you both want to because you feel good around each other and you make each other feel good. And you want to keep that and explore it.
Sometimes I feel my life is mucked up because I haven’t met kind, cis het men in my life. When I say mucked up I mean, my conditioning is not aligning with the reality and somehow that is my fault, even though that is ONCE AGAIN, conditioning speaking.
I wasn’t raised by good or kind men, I don’t know any and sometimes it feels like there’s no anchor to believe in the good of men except my own imagination because the reality of being around men (I work in music, it’s highly sexist and racist) But it’s reading writing like this that reminds me that loving men exist and that love IS doing.
Even having a conflict with a partner and having a difficult conversation because you love each other so much to want to work it out together is loving. I think hetero representations of love deliberately wipe that fact out and instead impose the idea that things in relationships JUST WORK. It has been 100% the reason why past r’ships didn’t work for me in the past.
It’s like hetero r’ships are framed as having no darkness, or deepness. That they can only be light and airy, exactly like Disney prescribe and it’s actually painfully sad. It’s within the deepness I.e hard conversations, deep questions, uncomfortable truths that are shared between people that deepens AND strengthens their bonds. I feel that’s imperative to connect with fellow humans all round.
Thanks for the article. It’s given me a lot to think about.
I love reading how much people are loved ❣️
So so gorgeous, I loved this post! 12 years of a love like this, especially with long distance, is a real gift❤️ sending love to you and Jordy! Xxx
This one made me cry. My husband is a lot like Jordy in ways that I need and we really try to “do” love. We’re both still learning as we go but I completely agree with you
This is so beautiful and wonderfully written. I particularly like the idea holding love up to our friendship standards and find your point on scarcity mentality sadly true. It made me think of why Sex and the City (say what you will about it) has been pinned up as such a timeless classic, especially with its "being each others soulmates" message. Perhaps as it was one of the first key pop culture moments that showed us the prevalence / formidable power of female friendships over romantic love..
That's so amazing❤️❤️! This post made me feel like I'm drinking hot chocolate on a chilly day with a blanket wrapped round me. We really should change our expectations on this thunderbolt s*** so 100% agree. The words "I love you" and then letting people down are overused and tired, but you just can't argue with these love actions. Accepting you're not a morning person made me laugh. You'd totally got me by the time I read about playing the song you're into at the time (arrogant jerks simply would NEVER do this😂)
this is absolutely beautiful. love is a verb, something you choose to work towards together. It is so inspiring to read how you have navigated so many twists and turns and still managed to show up for each other. I verb this!
Beautiful thoughts, it’s encouraging to see the dissection of your relationship and how hard you both obviously work to communicate, understand and meet the others’ needs. The simplicity of some of them is really touching. Thanks for sharing x
Those descriptions of Jordy’s love for you made me feel really emotional - so many simple but great things, that show how attuned he is to who you really are, and what you fundamentally need.
Going to have to get that Bell Hooks book 🙏
There’s a book called “Conversations On Love” that interviews writers, artists, journalists etc on the subject of love and probably my favourite writer, Roxane Gay wrote that meeting someone to do love with is in itself luck.
To meet someone who just so happens to want to embark on this journey with you? Fabulous.
I feel the journeys can be short or long but they are still a journey people choose to take. Which in itself is amazing so long as we don’t continue to choose a person who’s hurting us.
It feels like love is challenging but not draining. It’s frustrating but not harmful. It’s like learning a new skill alongside someone and you’re working together and you both want to because you feel good around each other and you make each other feel good. And you want to keep that and explore it.
Sometimes I feel my life is mucked up because I haven’t met kind, cis het men in my life. When I say mucked up I mean, my conditioning is not aligning with the reality and somehow that is my fault, even though that is ONCE AGAIN, conditioning speaking.
I wasn’t raised by good or kind men, I don’t know any and sometimes it feels like there’s no anchor to believe in the good of men except my own imagination because the reality of being around men (I work in music, it’s highly sexist and racist) But it’s reading writing like this that reminds me that loving men exist and that love IS doing.
Even having a conflict with a partner and having a difficult conversation because you love each other so much to want to work it out together is loving. I think hetero representations of love deliberately wipe that fact out and instead impose the idea that things in relationships JUST WORK. It has been 100% the reason why past r’ships didn’t work for me in the past.
It’s like hetero r’ships are framed as having no darkness, or deepness. That they can only be light and airy, exactly like Disney prescribe and it’s actually painfully sad. It’s within the deepness I.e hard conversations, deep questions, uncomfortable truths that are shared between people that deepens AND strengthens their bonds. I feel that’s imperative to connect with fellow humans all round.
Thanks for the article. It’s given me a lot to think about.