That puppy subreddit always made me feel better when I was in the depth of puppy life! Biggest things weve learned is that progress isn't linear! Don't get too bogged down on the negatives and always make time to celebrate the positives ♥️.
progress isn't linear is a perfect learning because I still feel like it's meant to be a steady incline but it just never is. And YES I used to celebrate all peas positives even if there was only 1 out of 10 and we should all do that for ourselves more.
My dog Nacho has taught me the power of a warm welcome. Nothing beats his excitement when I come home - I try to do my own version when I see people, to show them how excited I am to see them (I do refrain from licking their faces.)
This is such a simple but powerful thing! I know how I feel when people greet me with so much warmth and are so happy to see me - I LOVE that learning from a dog!!
It almost feels like a fever dream when you remember how difficult puppy life really was! I also learnt that those seemingly rare and small joys are really everything aren’t they? They are what keeps you trying and what you hold on to when you can see absolutely no difference!
Doesn't it?! I remember how trapped I felt and yet it was now so long ago. Small joys for sure are so sustaining. Dogs are so good at just living for the little wins.
Loved this newsletter! My dog is a year and a half and I very much resonate with this!! I found your honest posts about raising a puppy so reassuring (thank you), I don’t think many people are honest online about how challenging it is. I also spent many hours scrolling through reddit lol. My dog is def not perfect, but I think it’s unfair to think he ever will be. He brings soo much fun and joy to our lives which I’m super grateful for
Really enjoyed reading this! Me and my partner adopted a greyhound during the pandemic and at points it was really hard going. But she's taught me that 1. Rest is the biggest priority and that 2. Consistency can be really, really hard but the benefits are forever.
My pup honey was exactly the same and I felt so so so so isolated and ashamed.
I was crying to my friend about it when she said 'have you seen Gina Martins post on Instagram' and sent me some of what you shared about Pea. I can honestly say that was a turning point for me, I realised not all puppies are easy, not everyone is having a lovely time, but it does get better with consistency, patience and hard work.
Difficultly with honey started pushing me and my partner of 7 years apart, as you said, we found out on the job what our different styles of caring were and it was easy to become frustrated when these didn't align.
The main thing I learnt, that I repeated to myself over and over and over again was "everyone is doing their best"
Honey was a puddle of hormones and excitement and personality and she was doing the best she could at the age that she was and in the situations we put her in. And we were doing our best to love and be patient not only with her but with eachother, even when we were tired and fed up and at our wits end.
This little mantra is still what we come back to daily, it helps us see everyone for who they are and what they are able to give in that moment.
I’m 25 and chronically ill, I live at home with my mum and siblings and was really ready for some more responsibility and commitment but a relationship and a child were out of the question.
So I got Loki, a 7 month old cocker spaniel cross black lab (I didn’t know about the lab part - oh what a combination it is)
He has taught me so much and you’re right, they really do dictate how you see the world and how you organise your day.
Seeing him come out of his shell to try new things ( he was kept in kennels and bullied by his brothers when i adopted him) has inadvertently helped me to do the things I was to scared to do before. He’s learning to communicate with me in different ways, he used to start destroying shit when he wanted something but at least now he goes to the back door and scratches at it.
I’m always comparing his training to others but I try to remember that he had 7 months of total unregulated chaos before he came home.
He also had to be taught to sleep but now our naps are in sync!
Really enjoyed this post, I feel like only other dog owners (and parents probably) really get the effect it has on you mentally!
Thank you for sharing this! I didn't know about the puppy subreddit and I equally struggled when my furry baby was a pup. Now he's 15 years old and it's a whole new set of challenges. You get 15 years of unconditional love, so many adventures, plenty of joys, but also some heartbreaks - all shared together! Seeing them fade in front of your eyes is quite humbling but makes me very emotional every day as I never want him to go. I'm going to try and find a subreddit for old dogs now! And probably bawl my eyes out...x
Thank you for this. I’ve been seeing your journey with Pea since you first got her and how challenging it was in the early days, it reflects such strength of character that you both persevered where many would have thrown in the towel. My partner and I recently adopted a six-year-old Staffy rescue. She was found on the street in awful condition, half-starved and terrified, but the rescue centre did amazing work rehabilitating her (shout out Cardiff Rescue Hotel). She’s a real Jekyll and Hyde dog, beautifully behaved in the house, manic on a walk. She pulls like she’s trying to break out of her harness, cries and whines and tries to snatch the lead out of your hand if you stand still for too long. Off the lead she runs in circles and screams at you every time she comes past, and in a few instances she’s grabbed at some part of mine or my partner’s clothing and refused to let go, during one incident on the beach she managed to get the toggle of my partner’s coat and nearly ripped it before I finally got her to let go. She goes careening off after other dogs, only to immediately turn back once she reaches them. In short, there’s work to be done (although not nearly as much as you had with Pea). The interesting element with care is that I grew up with dogs, some much more difficult than this one, and my partner did not. As such I take a lot of these challenging behaviours in my stride, whereas she finds them much more shocking and troubling, which has made her much more reluctant to walk her on her own. Like you say though it’s about balancing the relationship, so I’ve taken on more of that while she adjusts, and I’m laying in the ground work for loose lead, recall and stopping her from grabbing at things. There’s a long way to go and yeah sometimes I have to remind myself that it’s a long game, but even in the few months we’ve had her, it’s brought a whole new kind of love into our house, and taught us both a lot about how love is expressed and absorbed.
I came looking for your post Gina because we are having similar problems and I remembered your Insta lives from back then! Thank you so much for posting this, I'm going to look them up. And also it's so good to hear that it eventually calms down!
Our dog Banjo sounds so similar to Pea too. He is almost 7 months old and we are having lots of really challenging moments right now, especially with biting and our three kids. We know he's a good doggo but sometimes it's hard to see.
I have a sphynx, Bilbo, and his happiness hasn’t come without sacrifice. He’s the sweetest boy at home but the worst cat a number of vets have ever seen for fear aggression. No catteries for this guy. It doesn’t help that he’s got a Labrador mentality when it comes to eating things he shouldn’t, so I'm too scared to let others care for him. So no holidays for me, even a night away is pushing it. Over the years I’ve learnt that you can’t be short sighted about getting a pet and only be prepared for your romanticised version of them.
I do not regret buying my tiny best friend but looking back, 21 was young to make what has already been a 10 year commitment. I bought my boy when I was lonely after all my friends moved away for uni. I lacked confidence and feared leaving the comforts of my hometown and family. That’s no longer who I am, so my advice would be to not make a long term commitment based on the person you are now if you’re working on who you want to be.
Oh wow Gina, my husband and I are currently three months in to our cockapoo, Rupert joining the family. There is so much of the above that resonates. I have spent countless moments in tears, utterly overwhelmed, unable to see the path forward. Totally desperate for some alone time, a lie in, a mere moment with my husband that doesn’t revolve around the dog. Rupert is currently 5 months, his teeth are falling out, he’s mad about it and he isn’t sleeping well (nor are we) and we’ve currently only lasted 5 minutes out the house as part of his alone time training. But then there are the moments of such joy, the sun comes out, and he curls up in my lap and chews a stick he’s found and we watch the world go by, my mind completely quiet (something I find difficult). We meet an elderly woman on our morning walk who is using two canes, she’s desperate to meet him so I pick him up so she can stoke him. Rupert is so gentle with her and I can see that the interaction has made her day. One day I catch him looking at me as I sit on the loo, me desperate for a moment alone. He doesn’t know I can see him through the door crack and there’s a look in his eyes, a yearning and I have to laugh as he bounds up to me when I open the door, because I’m his whole world and he’s missed me.
Thank you for your words Gina, you give me hope for little Rupert. He’s taken my sanity yes but as I lie here, mustering the courage to start the day, I know he is downstairs to greet me, with boundless joy and love.
That puppy subreddit always made me feel better when I was in the depth of puppy life! Biggest things weve learned is that progress isn't linear! Don't get too bogged down on the negatives and always make time to celebrate the positives ♥️.
progress isn't linear is a perfect learning because I still feel like it's meant to be a steady incline but it just never is. And YES I used to celebrate all peas positives even if there was only 1 out of 10 and we should all do that for ourselves more.
Love the way the unbridled joy of animals can be so grounding and reminds us to also find joy in the small things 🫶🏼
SO grounding. Grounding is the absolute right word. 🥹
My dog Nacho has taught me the power of a warm welcome. Nothing beats his excitement when I come home - I try to do my own version when I see people, to show them how excited I am to see them (I do refrain from licking their faces.)
This is such a simple but powerful thing! I know how I feel when people greet me with so much warmth and are so happy to see me - I LOVE that learning from a dog!!
It almost feels like a fever dream when you remember how difficult puppy life really was! I also learnt that those seemingly rare and small joys are really everything aren’t they? They are what keeps you trying and what you hold on to when you can see absolutely no difference!
Doesn't it?! I remember how trapped I felt and yet it was now so long ago. Small joys for sure are so sustaining. Dogs are so good at just living for the little wins.
Loved this newsletter! My dog is a year and a half and I very much resonate with this!! I found your honest posts about raising a puppy so reassuring (thank you), I don’t think many people are honest online about how challenging it is. I also spent many hours scrolling through reddit lol. My dog is def not perfect, but I think it’s unfair to think he ever will be. He brings soo much fun and joy to our lives which I’m super grateful for
Really enjoyed reading this! Me and my partner adopted a greyhound during the pandemic and at points it was really hard going. But she's taught me that 1. Rest is the biggest priority and that 2. Consistency can be really, really hard but the benefits are forever.
Only a greyhound can really teach about the importance of rest 😆😆❤️
My pup honey was exactly the same and I felt so so so so isolated and ashamed.
I was crying to my friend about it when she said 'have you seen Gina Martins post on Instagram' and sent me some of what you shared about Pea. I can honestly say that was a turning point for me, I realised not all puppies are easy, not everyone is having a lovely time, but it does get better with consistency, patience and hard work.
Difficultly with honey started pushing me and my partner of 7 years apart, as you said, we found out on the job what our different styles of caring were and it was easy to become frustrated when these didn't align.
The main thing I learnt, that I repeated to myself over and over and over again was "everyone is doing their best"
Honey was a puddle of hormones and excitement and personality and she was doing the best she could at the age that she was and in the situations we put her in. And we were doing our best to love and be patient not only with her but with eachother, even when we were tired and fed up and at our wits end.
This little mantra is still what we come back to daily, it helps us see everyone for who they are and what they are able to give in that moment.
Honey just turned 2 and is the best girl 💕
Really feel like it depends on breed too! Like some puppies are just so much more docile!
I’m 25 and chronically ill, I live at home with my mum and siblings and was really ready for some more responsibility and commitment but a relationship and a child were out of the question.
So I got Loki, a 7 month old cocker spaniel cross black lab (I didn’t know about the lab part - oh what a combination it is)
He has taught me so much and you’re right, they really do dictate how you see the world and how you organise your day.
Seeing him come out of his shell to try new things ( he was kept in kennels and bullied by his brothers when i adopted him) has inadvertently helped me to do the things I was to scared to do before. He’s learning to communicate with me in different ways, he used to start destroying shit when he wanted something but at least now he goes to the back door and scratches at it.
I’m always comparing his training to others but I try to remember that he had 7 months of total unregulated chaos before he came home.
He also had to be taught to sleep but now our naps are in sync!
Really enjoyed this post, I feel like only other dog owners (and parents probably) really get the effect it has on you mentally!
Thank you for sharing this! I didn't know about the puppy subreddit and I equally struggled when my furry baby was a pup. Now he's 15 years old and it's a whole new set of challenges. You get 15 years of unconditional love, so many adventures, plenty of joys, but also some heartbreaks - all shared together! Seeing them fade in front of your eyes is quite humbling but makes me very emotional every day as I never want him to go. I'm going to try and find a subreddit for old dogs now! And probably bawl my eyes out...x
Thank you for this. I’ve been seeing your journey with Pea since you first got her and how challenging it was in the early days, it reflects such strength of character that you both persevered where many would have thrown in the towel. My partner and I recently adopted a six-year-old Staffy rescue. She was found on the street in awful condition, half-starved and terrified, but the rescue centre did amazing work rehabilitating her (shout out Cardiff Rescue Hotel). She’s a real Jekyll and Hyde dog, beautifully behaved in the house, manic on a walk. She pulls like she’s trying to break out of her harness, cries and whines and tries to snatch the lead out of your hand if you stand still for too long. Off the lead she runs in circles and screams at you every time she comes past, and in a few instances she’s grabbed at some part of mine or my partner’s clothing and refused to let go, during one incident on the beach she managed to get the toggle of my partner’s coat and nearly ripped it before I finally got her to let go. She goes careening off after other dogs, only to immediately turn back once she reaches them. In short, there’s work to be done (although not nearly as much as you had with Pea). The interesting element with care is that I grew up with dogs, some much more difficult than this one, and my partner did not. As such I take a lot of these challenging behaviours in my stride, whereas she finds them much more shocking and troubling, which has made her much more reluctant to walk her on her own. Like you say though it’s about balancing the relationship, so I’ve taken on more of that while she adjusts, and I’m laying in the ground work for loose lead, recall and stopping her from grabbing at things. There’s a long way to go and yeah sometimes I have to remind myself that it’s a long game, but even in the few months we’ve had her, it’s brought a whole new kind of love into our house, and taught us both a lot about how love is expressed and absorbed.
My family has a dog like Pea. We know hes good, he just needs some help. If you or any readers recommend the trainers youve used id be so grateful 🙏
We used The Dog Guy, but they’re outside of London - great for the quiet open spaces and no distraction for the dog though!
I came looking for your post Gina because we are having similar problems and I remembered your Insta lives from back then! Thank you so much for posting this, I'm going to look them up. And also it's so good to hear that it eventually calms down!
Our dog Banjo sounds so similar to Pea too. He is almost 7 months old and we are having lots of really challenging moments right now, especially with biting and our three kids. We know he's a good doggo but sometimes it's hard to see.
I have a sphynx, Bilbo, and his happiness hasn’t come without sacrifice. He’s the sweetest boy at home but the worst cat a number of vets have ever seen for fear aggression. No catteries for this guy. It doesn’t help that he’s got a Labrador mentality when it comes to eating things he shouldn’t, so I'm too scared to let others care for him. So no holidays for me, even a night away is pushing it. Over the years I’ve learnt that you can’t be short sighted about getting a pet and only be prepared for your romanticised version of them.
I do not regret buying my tiny best friend but looking back, 21 was young to make what has already been a 10 year commitment. I bought my boy when I was lonely after all my friends moved away for uni. I lacked confidence and feared leaving the comforts of my hometown and family. That’s no longer who I am, so my advice would be to not make a long term commitment based on the person you are now if you’re working on who you want to be.
Oh wow Gina, my husband and I are currently three months in to our cockapoo, Rupert joining the family. There is so much of the above that resonates. I have spent countless moments in tears, utterly overwhelmed, unable to see the path forward. Totally desperate for some alone time, a lie in, a mere moment with my husband that doesn’t revolve around the dog. Rupert is currently 5 months, his teeth are falling out, he’s mad about it and he isn’t sleeping well (nor are we) and we’ve currently only lasted 5 minutes out the house as part of his alone time training. But then there are the moments of such joy, the sun comes out, and he curls up in my lap and chews a stick he’s found and we watch the world go by, my mind completely quiet (something I find difficult). We meet an elderly woman on our morning walk who is using two canes, she’s desperate to meet him so I pick him up so she can stoke him. Rupert is so gentle with her and I can see that the interaction has made her day. One day I catch him looking at me as I sit on the loo, me desperate for a moment alone. He doesn’t know I can see him through the door crack and there’s a look in his eyes, a yearning and I have to laugh as he bounds up to me when I open the door, because I’m his whole world and he’s missed me.
Thank you for your words Gina, you give me hope for little Rupert. He’s taken my sanity yes but as I lie here, mustering the courage to start the day, I know he is downstairs to greet me, with boundless joy and love.