hi to all you unique and special humans just doing their best.
this month’s prompt? it’s about just that. For this one, it can be something small, irrational, or something deeper.You can give context, explanation or justification if you want to, but remember you can use this space just to write you answer with no qualifications, simply just to release it. For this one, we won’t ask questions to each other, I’d love us to only beaffirming and loving to whoever chooses to answer honestly.
If you feel comfortable to, please answer in the comment thread below. The only requirement of participation in our good chat threads is that we read and engage with what others share; even if you don’t want to share your own story, you can like, affirm or acknowledge others comments by tapping the heart, leaving emojis or commenting how it made you feel.
Reminder: This is a thread, not a post, which means only subscribers can comment here rather than anyone with a substack.
Honestly? Fearful of failure. I’m terrified that I’ll put my all into a task, be that trying to conceive, writing a book, advocating for myself in healthcare appointments…
I am fearful of getting old and being alone in a house I can’t afford to keep up and of being a burden.
For context I am chronically ill and have been for almost 13 years. My family are lovely and supportive. My youngest brother who is just 16 is great at helping me out. But that’s my slightly irrational fear.
I'm scared that I've trapped myself in my family business instead of finding work that is either more meaningful to me, or allows me a better work/life balance. My biggest fear is that I will come to resent them for it and ruin my relationship with them.
My fear is that even with all the therapy I can get, I will never really change or stop being scared. That my world will just continue to get smaller as those I love get fed up and leave.
I am fearful that ‘this is it’ - that my life will never be more than what it is now. I feel like society has convinced me that 34 is old and I should just settle for what I have - but it feels so dissatisfying. I am fearful I’ll spend so much time trying to work out what I want that age will catch up with me.
I’m fearful that I’m going to be stuck in a cycle of feeling intense shame because I drink excessively and then coping with the shame by drinking to block it out
My fear is somewhat related to Gina’s. I’m scared of making the wrong decision about whether I want children or not. At the moment, I’m 70% sure that I want a child (no more than one though) but I’m scared I will regret it because as a highly sensitive person I need my alone time and time to recharge. I have a partner who would raise the child with me and even though I know he would pull his weight, how can I be sure I won’t end up having to raise our child alone like my mum did?
I am so scared about the direction the world/ the dominant societies within it, seem to be heading in. Everything feels so wrong and broken and to be getting worse. Be it backward legislation being implemented in a lot of nations, hate towards minority groups being not only tolerated but in a lot of cases celebrated, lack of serious action on climate change, inaction against the war atrocities taking place and all the while the general public are standing by, plodding along following the latest tik tok trend and buying Stanley cups. 🙃
I’m fearful that I’ve lost my chance of having someone I truly want in my life. That by choosing to heal myself, I’ve lost the chance to be with someone I want to welcome into this new and improved space.
Being single in your thirties is great, but increasingly challenging when you’re ready to find someone.
I’ve found men 30-40 date younger women. Or the men that are available are misogynistic or emotionally derelict. I crave the openness and the possibilities that dating provided when I was 21, but I wouldn’t want to go back.
It feels like the right person isn’t an option so I’ll be without one.
Death. It seems very "well duh" but it is all consuming. For context I'm 29 and have always had this fear/awareness of death. We've lost family members over the years and even in 2020, my ma's partner died. And in 2022 I lost my dog and I think this really intensified that fear/lack of control over people dying, as well as myself. My dog was my constant for over a decade then he wasn't. It has intensified health anxiety too within me. Every night I'm so scared of not waking up. Of waking up to news that friends have died. Especially friends that live in another country. I live at home with my ma. Just this morning I woke earlier than usual. And usually I can hear her getting ready for work, this morning I couldn't and rushed to her room. She had been up and getting ready I just didn't hear her. But the fear I have of her dying and me not doing something to stop it. But that general fear of death in every capacity is so exhausting. It just leaves me in a constant state of emotional agony. And thinking what's the point of starting anything when it will be taken away? People will be taken away. The thing is it's inevitable. I know these things will happen. But it terrifies me. I find it so hard to take a step in any direction in my life, it feels like if I allow myself to be happy, if I relax on this, that's when it will happen to remind me of why I'm in this state of fear. It makes it very hard to be living instead of just existing.
Oof. Anyways. Sending love to all sharing their fears. No matter what form it comes in❤️
I am fearful of losing people I love and feeling like I didn't spend enough time with them or say/ask enough things to them. Forever feeling like there isn't enough time in the world to do everything I want to do with everyone I want to do it with, and feeling like I am failing in relationships because I can't give as much as I want to all of them. And then those people might be gone.
I'm fearful that life will never stop being exhausting - that the bad will constantly outweigh and taint the good both in my personal life and the wider world, that I will drag myself through each day saying "just get through this week, next week will be better" only for nothing to change. Is this it for the next 40, 50 years?
I'm scared about the political situation in the country really impacting a young person in my family's ability to live as the gender they know they are. It's so frightening to hear the rhetoric spewed by political parties and it is now influencing policy making (e.g. the recent ban on puberty blockers). I feel like we might need to leave the country for them to have a good quality of life, and the treatment they need but I don't know if we can (visas / work / other siblings) and also there are of course waiting lists to consider... Trans rights are human rights!
I'm scared of never returning to what I was capable of, or even if I can't "return", then be able to actually achieve anything at all again.
Context: I recently experienced 2 life-changing events at the same time; a failed business (resulting in a lot of debt), and realising I'm autistic. Now I have severe burnout & depression, and can't envision things getting better (not for a lack of wanting or trying).
I’m afraid that I’ve left it too late. I spent so many years minimising my childhood trauma, always keeping my pain hidden, presenting a version of myself that I thought was more palatable for others. I’m only now working out who I really am, at 42.
I’m fearful that the very close relationships I had with my brothers as children is dwindling. We live very separate lives now and so much is different - as it should be! But that doesn’t make the reality easier to sit with
I’m fearful of some health tests I have over the next few weeks, the potential results and what that could mean for me. This said, it’s been an important reminder to always get things checked if something don’t feel right, and has made me feel gratitude for things that I normally take for granted while I’m in this weird in between phase.
I am fearful of not getting a job (soon). My contract at my current job runs out next week, and both interviews I attended this week for other jobs came back with rejections. I am privileged enough that I will be alright for a little while if I can’t find work, but it is still a worry and the complete expanse of unstructured, unplanned time that is waiting for me feels scary.
I would like to have children and hope that I’m able to…but I have PMDD and I’m scared that after children it will get worse (which is common) and I’m not sure I could handle that as it’s hard to get through it each month already. And then having to care for little ones while struggling through those dark feelings each month scares me.
I’m scared to actually start living at 30 and why do I feel like my life is already over at 30. I worry I am never going to be good at anything and remain unemployed for this whole year. I’m so fearful if I start enjoying life and taking chances that it will all end in failure. I am currently upskilling again and I worry it’s all for nothing and I won’t get a job in the sector I am upskilling for.
Same fear on the children question, but being older and single I have to decide between 2 socially unacceptable things: the stigma of childlessness or that of parenting as an older single woman. The real fear though, is making the wrong decision due to societal pressure, and how to separate the two💔 so I guess it gets harder.. choose your flavour of stigma😂
I am afraid that I have made the wrong decisions in my life, based on fear maybe, and they have led me to a place that feels out of my control and like I have failed myself. I'm afraid that I won't be able to get out of this place, and I'm afraid of taking steps forward because they might be the wrong ones.
I’m fearful of making the wrong decision for ‘what’s next’ in my life. My contract is up next week, my house lease is up in 3 weeks.
I have job offers that will provide growth and solid income, but am considering putting everything in storage, travel and then move to the UK instead. Not because the UK is in a better position than AUS right now (the world is generally in a scary place), but because if I don’t do it now I will likely miss the chance. Big decision to pack up and leave. Equally big decision to stay and be comfortable.
I'm fearful of people who resent basic infrastructure and housing being built because they will fight tooth and nail over that but won't even pay attention to anything else because too many people don't see themselves as part of a society.
I am scared of having to make a decision about whether I want to have children or not.
I am fearful of feeling like I will never belong.
I am fearful that my marriage might be over
I am worried about getting a new job and being terrible at it even though my current job is not supportive or fulfilling
I am fearful of losing the ones I love
I am terrified of the apathy I encounter everywhere
Honestly? Fearful of failure. I’m terrified that I’ll put my all into a task, be that trying to conceive, writing a book, advocating for myself in healthcare appointments…
I am fearful of getting old and being alone in a house I can’t afford to keep up and of being a burden.
For context I am chronically ill and have been for almost 13 years. My family are lovely and supportive. My youngest brother who is just 16 is great at helping me out. But that’s my slightly irrational fear.
I am fearful of never being enough and that I will spend my life masking and pretending just to be given the time of day
I'm scared that I've trapped myself in my family business instead of finding work that is either more meaningful to me, or allows me a better work/life balance. My biggest fear is that I will come to resent them for it and ruin my relationship with them.
My fear is that even with all the therapy I can get, I will never really change or stop being scared. That my world will just continue to get smaller as those I love get fed up and leave.
I am fearful that ‘this is it’ - that my life will never be more than what it is now. I feel like society has convinced me that 34 is old and I should just settle for what I have - but it feels so dissatisfying. I am fearful I’ll spend so much time trying to work out what I want that age will catch up with me.
I’m fearful that I’m going to be stuck in a cycle of feeling intense shame because I drink excessively and then coping with the shame by drinking to block it out
I'm scared about going back to work after a period of stress leave.
My fear is somewhat related to Gina’s. I’m scared of making the wrong decision about whether I want children or not. At the moment, I’m 70% sure that I want a child (no more than one though) but I’m scared I will regret it because as a highly sensitive person I need my alone time and time to recharge. I have a partner who would raise the child with me and even though I know he would pull his weight, how can I be sure I won’t end up having to raise our child alone like my mum did?
I am so scared about the direction the world/ the dominant societies within it, seem to be heading in. Everything feels so wrong and broken and to be getting worse. Be it backward legislation being implemented in a lot of nations, hate towards minority groups being not only tolerated but in a lot of cases celebrated, lack of serious action on climate change, inaction against the war atrocities taking place and all the while the general public are standing by, plodding along following the latest tik tok trend and buying Stanley cups. 🙃
I’m fearful that I’ve lost my chance of having someone I truly want in my life. That by choosing to heal myself, I’ve lost the chance to be with someone I want to welcome into this new and improved space.
Being single in your thirties is great, but increasingly challenging when you’re ready to find someone.
I’ve found men 30-40 date younger women. Or the men that are available are misogynistic or emotionally derelict. I crave the openness and the possibilities that dating provided when I was 21, but I wouldn’t want to go back.
It feels like the right person isn’t an option so I’ll be without one.
Death. It seems very "well duh" but it is all consuming. For context I'm 29 and have always had this fear/awareness of death. We've lost family members over the years and even in 2020, my ma's partner died. And in 2022 I lost my dog and I think this really intensified that fear/lack of control over people dying, as well as myself. My dog was my constant for over a decade then he wasn't. It has intensified health anxiety too within me. Every night I'm so scared of not waking up. Of waking up to news that friends have died. Especially friends that live in another country. I live at home with my ma. Just this morning I woke earlier than usual. And usually I can hear her getting ready for work, this morning I couldn't and rushed to her room. She had been up and getting ready I just didn't hear her. But the fear I have of her dying and me not doing something to stop it. But that general fear of death in every capacity is so exhausting. It just leaves me in a constant state of emotional agony. And thinking what's the point of starting anything when it will be taken away? People will be taken away. The thing is it's inevitable. I know these things will happen. But it terrifies me. I find it so hard to take a step in any direction in my life, it feels like if I allow myself to be happy, if I relax on this, that's when it will happen to remind me of why I'm in this state of fear. It makes it very hard to be living instead of just existing.
Oof. Anyways. Sending love to all sharing their fears. No matter what form it comes in❤️
I am fearful of losing people I love and feeling like I didn't spend enough time with them or say/ask enough things to them. Forever feeling like there isn't enough time in the world to do everything I want to do with everyone I want to do it with, and feeling like I am failing in relationships because I can't give as much as I want to all of them. And then those people might be gone.
I'm fearful that life will never stop being exhausting - that the bad will constantly outweigh and taint the good both in my personal life and the wider world, that I will drag myself through each day saying "just get through this week, next week will be better" only for nothing to change. Is this it for the next 40, 50 years?
I'm scared about the political situation in the country really impacting a young person in my family's ability to live as the gender they know they are. It's so frightening to hear the rhetoric spewed by political parties and it is now influencing policy making (e.g. the recent ban on puberty blockers). I feel like we might need to leave the country for them to have a good quality of life, and the treatment they need but I don't know if we can (visas / work / other siblings) and also there are of course waiting lists to consider... Trans rights are human rights!
I'm scared of never returning to what I was capable of, or even if I can't "return", then be able to actually achieve anything at all again.
Context: I recently experienced 2 life-changing events at the same time; a failed business (resulting in a lot of debt), and realising I'm autistic. Now I have severe burnout & depression, and can't envision things getting better (not for a lack of wanting or trying).
I’m afraid that I’ve left it too late. I spent so many years minimising my childhood trauma, always keeping my pain hidden, presenting a version of myself that I thought was more palatable for others. I’m only now working out who I really am, at 42.
I’m fearful that the very close relationships I had with my brothers as children is dwindling. We live very separate lives now and so much is different - as it should be! But that doesn’t make the reality easier to sit with
I’m fearful of some health tests I have over the next few weeks, the potential results and what that could mean for me. This said, it’s been an important reminder to always get things checked if something don’t feel right, and has made me feel gratitude for things that I normally take for granted while I’m in this weird in between phase.
I am fearful of not getting a job (soon). My contract at my current job runs out next week, and both interviews I attended this week for other jobs came back with rejections. I am privileged enough that I will be alright for a little while if I can’t find work, but it is still a worry and the complete expanse of unstructured, unplanned time that is waiting for me feels scary.
I would like to have children and hope that I’m able to…but I have PMDD and I’m scared that after children it will get worse (which is common) and I’m not sure I could handle that as it’s hard to get through it each month already. And then having to care for little ones while struggling through those dark feelings each month scares me.
I’m scared to actually start living at 30 and why do I feel like my life is already over at 30. I worry I am never going to be good at anything and remain unemployed for this whole year. I’m so fearful if I start enjoying life and taking chances that it will all end in failure. I am currently upskilling again and I worry it’s all for nothing and I won’t get a job in the sector I am upskilling for.
Same fear on the children question, but being older and single I have to decide between 2 socially unacceptable things: the stigma of childlessness or that of parenting as an older single woman. The real fear though, is making the wrong decision due to societal pressure, and how to separate the two💔 so I guess it gets harder.. choose your flavour of stigma😂
I’m scared ill never really recover from my eating disorder
I am afraid that I have made the wrong decisions in my life, based on fear maybe, and they have led me to a place that feels out of my control and like I have failed myself. I'm afraid that I won't be able to get out of this place, and I'm afraid of taking steps forward because they might be the wrong ones.
I’m fearful of making the wrong decision for ‘what’s next’ in my life. My contract is up next week, my house lease is up in 3 weeks.
I have job offers that will provide growth and solid income, but am considering putting everything in storage, travel and then move to the UK instead. Not because the UK is in a better position than AUS right now (the world is generally in a scary place), but because if I don’t do it now I will likely miss the chance. Big decision to pack up and leave. Equally big decision to stay and be comfortable.
I'm fearful of people who resent basic infrastructure and housing being built because they will fight tooth and nail over that but won't even pay attention to anything else because too many people don't see themselves as part of a society.