hi to all you unique and special humans just doing their best.
this month’s prompt? it’s about just that. For this one, it can be something small, irrational, or something deeper.You can give context, explanation or justification if you want to, but remember you can use this space just to write you answer with no qualifications, simply just to release it. For this one, we won’t ask questions to each other, I’d love us to only beaffirming and loving to whoever chooses to answer honestly.
If you feel comfortable to, please answer in the comment thread below. The only requirement of participation in our good chat threads is that we read and engage with what others share; even if you don’t want to share your own story, you can like, affirm or acknowledge others comments by tapping the heart, leaving emojis or commenting how it made you feel.
Reminder: This is a thread, not a post, which means only subscribers can comment here rather than anyone with a substack.
I am also fearful of this and the fear gets bigger and bigger as I get older and it feels like time is running out and the decision will be made for me before I can make it myself. I would love to have children, I think I would be a great mum and I also know my partner really wants kids - he didn’t have a great childhood/ strong family bonds and he wants to make that family he never had for himself now .. he would also be such a kind of loving parent. I worry that I only want them for selfish reasons… but are there any other reasons to want them? I feel so hopeless about the state of the world and think why would I want to bring anyone else into this mess? What kind of future would they have? I also wonder if environmentally is it ethical to have children? This has been my point of view for quite a long time but I spoke to my sister about this a few weeks ago and she made me have a different perspective. She said the only hope the world has to get any better is if conscientious people who care about the planet and other people and who want things to change have children and raise them to want to make a difference. I think this is probably true but also don’t know if it outweighs my doubts and fears - I also am not sure how I would raise someone to be hopeful and feel like they could make a positive impact on the world when I find it so hard to feel either of those things right now. I wish I had a more positive and affirmative way of thinking about this but it is a subject on a constant anxiety spin in my head right now!
This is such a big scary thing to do. Whatever you choose feels so final. I’ve been through this with the added pressure of *now or never* because of gynae conditions and a multitude of health restrictions.
What I will say that helped me through that decision making process, was learning to be okay if it didn’t happen if I chose it. Because that was the thing that scared me the most.
I’d recommend some tests to know where you’re at fertility wise, gives you an idea of what your body is saying. What you might have to go through to make it happen. Wanting children isn’t enough sometimes - it’s in flux. Happy to talk about any of this if you need an ear xx
This is understandable, it feels like such a final decision to make. I am very firmly in the camp of not wanting children - I always knew I never wanted to carry them, but thought about adoption, but now I know having children of my own is not what I want. I might foster, or provide respite care in the future, and welcome children into my life in that way - but motherhood is not for me.
I had this a couple of years ago. I opened up about it to a very close friend, who told me she had experienced the same and spoke about it with a therapist. The therapist said to her, consider what is "your truth". Do you want kids for YOU (i.e. because you want to be a mother in the most selfless sense, you want to contribute to a new growth of life) or do you feel you should have kids for any other reason (partner/family/societal expectations or commitments, a selfish desire to continue your bloodline/legacy, or an idealistic vision that it might improve YOUR life).
For me, I realised I had always told myself that I was going to provide perfect grandkids for my parents - even though they had literally never expressed an expectation of this at all. It came from only me, internally. Basically my dad had only daughters and growing up I always felt like my (traditionalist) grandad was disappointed in my dad, and so I wanted to keep my surname and provide grandsons. It doesn't make a lot of sense, I know.
But that discussion with my friend, and her sharing the therapists advice of really investigating where the desire came from, helped me realise what my truth was - which was, the reasons I wanted children were far out weighed by, and importantly were not as authentic as, the reasons I don't (which is a whoooole list).
I had this very early in my life, age gave me the serenity to not care. I realised the people I thought were worth being a part of weren't, I understand how terrifying this can be Sending much love to you. One day you will feel the belonging you deserve but try to love yourself in the meantime xx
I feel this. My current workplace makes me feel like I’ll never be good at working elsewhere, like the grass will never be greener than it is now, but you don’t know unless you try 💖 it’s also worth remembering they hire you because they see your value - you might make mistakes, but that’s ok - you’re certainly not terrible!
My mum is recently diagnosed with heart disease so that fear is tangible. My emotions are often on the edge, what keeps me going is trying to enjoy every day and love the ones you love unapologetically. Love hurts but it's also so great to have a great capacity for it ❤️🩹
Honestly? Fearful of failure. I’m terrified that I’ll put my all into a task, be that trying to conceive, writing a book, advocating for myself in healthcare appointments…
I am fearful of getting old and being alone in a house I can’t afford to keep up and of being a burden.
For context I am chronically ill and have been for almost 13 years. My family are lovely and supportive. My youngest brother who is just 16 is great at helping me out. But that’s my slightly irrational fear.
I'm scared that I've trapped myself in my family business instead of finding work that is either more meaningful to me, or allows me a better work/life balance. My biggest fear is that I will come to resent them for it and ruin my relationship with them.
My fear is that even with all the therapy I can get, I will never really change or stop being scared. That my world will just continue to get smaller as those I love get fed up and leave.
I am fearful that ‘this is it’ - that my life will never be more than what it is now. I feel like society has convinced me that 34 is old and I should just settle for what I have - but it feels so dissatisfying. I am fearful I’ll spend so much time trying to work out what I want that age will catch up with me.
I’m fearful that I’m going to be stuck in a cycle of feeling intense shame because I drink excessively and then coping with the shame by drinking to block it out
My fear is somewhat related to Gina’s. I’m scared of making the wrong decision about whether I want children or not. At the moment, I’m 70% sure that I want a child (no more than one though) but I’m scared I will regret it because as a highly sensitive person I need my alone time and time to recharge. I have a partner who would raise the child with me and even though I know he would pull his weight, how can I be sure I won’t end up having to raise our child alone like my mum did?
I am so scared about the direction the world/ the dominant societies within it, seem to be heading in. Everything feels so wrong and broken and to be getting worse. Be it backward legislation being implemented in a lot of nations, hate towards minority groups being not only tolerated but in a lot of cases celebrated, lack of serious action on climate change, inaction against the war atrocities taking place and all the while the general public are standing by, plodding along following the latest tik tok trend and buying Stanley cups. 🙃
I’m fearful that I’ve lost my chance of having someone I truly want in my life. That by choosing to heal myself, I’ve lost the chance to be with someone I want to welcome into this new and improved space.
Being single in your thirties is great, but increasingly challenging when you’re ready to find someone.
I’ve found men 30-40 date younger women. Or the men that are available are misogynistic or emotionally derelict. I crave the openness and the possibilities that dating provided when I was 21, but I wouldn’t want to go back.
It feels like the right person isn’t an option so I’ll be without one.
Death. It seems very "well duh" but it is all consuming. For context I'm 29 and have always had this fear/awareness of death. We've lost family members over the years and even in 2020, my ma's partner died. And in 2022 I lost my dog and I think this really intensified that fear/lack of control over people dying, as well as myself. My dog was my constant for over a decade then he wasn't. It has intensified health anxiety too within me. Every night I'm so scared of not waking up. Of waking up to news that friends have died. Especially friends that live in another country. I live at home with my ma. Just this morning I woke earlier than usual. And usually I can hear her getting ready for work, this morning I couldn't and rushed to her room. She had been up and getting ready I just didn't hear her. But the fear I have of her dying and me not doing something to stop it. But that general fear of death in every capacity is so exhausting. It just leaves me in a constant state of emotional agony. And thinking what's the point of starting anything when it will be taken away? People will be taken away. The thing is it's inevitable. I know these things will happen. But it terrifies me. I find it so hard to take a step in any direction in my life, it feels like if I allow myself to be happy, if I relax on this, that's when it will happen to remind me of why I'm in this state of fear. It makes it very hard to be living instead of just existing.
Oof. Anyways. Sending love to all sharing their fears. No matter what form it comes in❤️
I had this. I always had health / death anxiety which got really bad when I had children. I went to therapy and it actually helped me a lot. I no longer spend all my time thinking and worrying about it. I was incredibly lucky to have done this prior to covid, as I think this would have been unbearable otherwise.
I am fearful of losing people I love and feeling like I didn't spend enough time with them or say/ask enough things to them. Forever feeling like there isn't enough time in the world to do everything I want to do with everyone I want to do it with, and feeling like I am failing in relationships because I can't give as much as I want to all of them. And then those people might be gone.
I'm fearful that life will never stop being exhausting - that the bad will constantly outweigh and taint the good both in my personal life and the wider world, that I will drag myself through each day saying "just get through this week, next week will be better" only for nothing to change. Is this it for the next 40, 50 years?
I'm scared about the political situation in the country really impacting a young person in my family's ability to live as the gender they know they are. It's so frightening to hear the rhetoric spewed by political parties and it is now influencing policy making (e.g. the recent ban on puberty blockers). I feel like we might need to leave the country for them to have a good quality of life, and the treatment they need but I don't know if we can (visas / work / other siblings) and also there are of course waiting lists to consider... Trans rights are human rights!
I'm scared of never returning to what I was capable of, or even if I can't "return", then be able to actually achieve anything at all again.
Context: I recently experienced 2 life-changing events at the same time; a failed business (resulting in a lot of debt), and realising I'm autistic. Now I have severe burnout & depression, and can't envision things getting better (not for a lack of wanting or trying).
I’m afraid that I’ve left it too late. I spent so many years minimising my childhood trauma, always keeping my pain hidden, presenting a version of myself that I thought was more palatable for others. I’m only now working out who I really am, at 42.
I’m fearful that the very close relationships I had with my brothers as children is dwindling. We live very separate lives now and so much is different - as it should be! But that doesn’t make the reality easier to sit with
I've recently had to come to terms with exactly this. I looked up to my sisters so much when I was growing up, but in the last 5 years I've slowly realised how much they (and I) have changed, and how it will never go back, that it was futile for me to be holding onto the idea that it might.
I’m fearful of some health tests I have over the next few weeks, the potential results and what that could mean for me. This said, it’s been an important reminder to always get things checked if something don’t feel right, and has made me feel gratitude for things that I normally take for granted while I’m in this weird in between phase.
I am fearful of not getting a job (soon). My contract at my current job runs out next week, and both interviews I attended this week for other jobs came back with rejections. I am privileged enough that I will be alright for a little while if I can’t find work, but it is still a worry and the complete expanse of unstructured, unplanned time that is waiting for me feels scary.
I would like to have children and hope that I’m able to…but I have PMDD and I’m scared that after children it will get worse (which is common) and I’m not sure I could handle that as it’s hard to get through it each month already. And then having to care for little ones while struggling through those dark feelings each month scares me.
I’m scared to actually start living at 30 and why do I feel like my life is already over at 30. I worry I am never going to be good at anything and remain unemployed for this whole year. I’m so fearful if I start enjoying life and taking chances that it will all end in failure. I am currently upskilling again and I worry it’s all for nothing and I won’t get a job in the sector I am upskilling for.
Same fear on the children question, but being older and single I have to decide between 2 socially unacceptable things: the stigma of childlessness or that of parenting as an older single woman. The real fear though, is making the wrong decision due to societal pressure, and how to separate the two💔 so I guess it gets harder.. choose your flavour of stigma😂
I am afraid that I have made the wrong decisions in my life, based on fear maybe, and they have led me to a place that feels out of my control and like I have failed myself. I'm afraid that I won't be able to get out of this place, and I'm afraid of taking steps forward because they might be the wrong ones.
The reason I followed Gina in the first place was to make sense of modern sexism and trying to come to terms with some of my own failed decisions. I think post WWII, various feminist movements gave us choices. But the society around us hasn't fully changed along with those choices. We are still burdened with fear of making the right choices, is it really our choice if we are coerced or intimidated into conforming to outdated systems? Whichever choice we make, we all get asked stupid questions at weddings - if we have no partner or are gay, it could be "when will you settle down and find a lovely young man?" if you do find the "lovely young man", it's then "when are you having the kids?" and even our jobs, and how far we chose to go in them is judged in a way men are not. We are so second-guessed so much and intimidated by genuine fears, that sure we make the wrong choices for ourselves. Maybe there is no wrong choice, there is just our genuine and desired choice but trying to listen to what our own heart wants is hard when it's drowned out by all the noise. Most men just don't suffer in this way and are brought up to think autonomously. Though I feel so sad when I hear younger women feeling the same fear I had that was disabling at times, I want to hug them and say just be you. You are wonderful as you, and you remain unchanged and just as wonderful are regardless of the odd wrong turn xox
..from someone who has had not so much a wrong turn so much as a complete detour!!!! but on track for a while and happy in myself now. So really I am hugging the old me too.
I’m fearful of making the wrong decision for ‘what’s next’ in my life. My contract is up next week, my house lease is up in 3 weeks.
I have job offers that will provide growth and solid income, but am considering putting everything in storage, travel and then move to the UK instead. Not because the UK is in a better position than AUS right now (the world is generally in a scary place), but because if I don’t do it now I will likely miss the chance. Big decision to pack up and leave. Equally big decision to stay and be comfortable.
I'm fearful of people who resent basic infrastructure and housing being built because they will fight tooth and nail over that but won't even pay attention to anything else because too many people don't see themselves as part of a society.
I am scared of having to make a decision about whether I want to have children or not.
I am also fearful of this and the fear gets bigger and bigger as I get older and it feels like time is running out and the decision will be made for me before I can make it myself. I would love to have children, I think I would be a great mum and I also know my partner really wants kids - he didn’t have a great childhood/ strong family bonds and he wants to make that family he never had for himself now .. he would also be such a kind of loving parent. I worry that I only want them for selfish reasons… but are there any other reasons to want them? I feel so hopeless about the state of the world and think why would I want to bring anyone else into this mess? What kind of future would they have? I also wonder if environmentally is it ethical to have children? This has been my point of view for quite a long time but I spoke to my sister about this a few weeks ago and she made me have a different perspective. She said the only hope the world has to get any better is if conscientious people who care about the planet and other people and who want things to change have children and raise them to want to make a difference. I think this is probably true but also don’t know if it outweighs my doubts and fears - I also am not sure how I would raise someone to be hopeful and feel like they could make a positive impact on the world when I find it so hard to feel either of those things right now. I wish I had a more positive and affirmative way of thinking about this but it is a subject on a constant anxiety spin in my head right now!
This is such a big scary thing to do. Whatever you choose feels so final. I’ve been through this with the added pressure of *now or never* because of gynae conditions and a multitude of health restrictions.
What I will say that helped me through that decision making process, was learning to be okay if it didn’t happen if I chose it. Because that was the thing that scared me the most.
I’d recommend some tests to know where you’re at fertility wise, gives you an idea of what your body is saying. What you might have to go through to make it happen. Wanting children isn’t enough sometimes - it’s in flux. Happy to talk about any of this if you need an ear xx
This is understandable, it feels like such a final decision to make. I am very firmly in the camp of not wanting children - I always knew I never wanted to carry them, but thought about adoption, but now I know having children of my own is not what I want. I might foster, or provide respite care in the future, and welcome children into my life in that way - but motherhood is not for me.
I had this a couple of years ago. I opened up about it to a very close friend, who told me she had experienced the same and spoke about it with a therapist. The therapist said to her, consider what is "your truth". Do you want kids for YOU (i.e. because you want to be a mother in the most selfless sense, you want to contribute to a new growth of life) or do you feel you should have kids for any other reason (partner/family/societal expectations or commitments, a selfish desire to continue your bloodline/legacy, or an idealistic vision that it might improve YOUR life).
For me, I realised I had always told myself that I was going to provide perfect grandkids for my parents - even though they had literally never expressed an expectation of this at all. It came from only me, internally. Basically my dad had only daughters and growing up I always felt like my (traditionalist) grandad was disappointed in my dad, and so I wanted to keep my surname and provide grandsons. It doesn't make a lot of sense, I know.
But that discussion with my friend, and her sharing the therapists advice of really investigating where the desire came from, helped me realise what my truth was - which was, the reasons I wanted children were far out weighed by, and importantly were not as authentic as, the reasons I don't (which is a whoooole list).
I am fearful of feeling like I will never belong.
You are not alone in this. Sending you the biggest hug.
I had this very early in my life, age gave me the serenity to not care. I realised the people I thought were worth being a part of weren't, I understand how terrifying this can be Sending much love to you. One day you will feel the belonging you deserve but try to love yourself in the meantime xx
I am fearful that my marriage might be over
We love you.
I feared this. And then it was and I was still ok 💖 sending love and strength
I am worried about getting a new job and being terrible at it even though my current job is not supportive or fulfilling
I feel this. My current workplace makes me feel like I’ll never be good at working elsewhere, like the grass will never be greener than it is now, but you don’t know unless you try 💖 it’s also worth remembering they hire you because they see your value - you might make mistakes, but that’s ok - you’re certainly not terrible!
Change is so hard. ❤️
I am fearful of losing the ones I love
So many of us are with you in this fear. Holding your hand from afar.
My mum is recently diagnosed with heart disease so that fear is tangible. My emotions are often on the edge, what keeps me going is trying to enjoy every day and love the ones you love unapologetically. Love hurts but it's also so great to have a great capacity for it ❤️🩹
It's so hard isn't it? Lucky to know such love but terrified of losing it 💝 sending you and your mum lots of love
I am terrified of the apathy I encounter everywhere
Felt
deeply deeply deeply felt.
Honestly? Fearful of failure. I’m terrified that I’ll put my all into a task, be that trying to conceive, writing a book, advocating for myself in healthcare appointments…
Your all can never be a failure, but I understand this so deeply. ❤️
I am fearful of getting old and being alone in a house I can’t afford to keep up and of being a burden.
For context I am chronically ill and have been for almost 13 years. My family are lovely and supportive. My youngest brother who is just 16 is great at helping me out. But that’s my slightly irrational fear.
Sending you the biggest hug. ❤️
I am fearful of never being enough and that I will spend my life masking and pretending just to be given the time of day
This is so honest. Thank you for that. ❤️
I'm scared that I've trapped myself in my family business instead of finding work that is either more meaningful to me, or allows me a better work/life balance. My biggest fear is that I will come to resent them for it and ruin my relationship with them.
This is so so understandable. Sending you a massive squeeze. ❤️
My fear is that even with all the therapy I can get, I will never really change or stop being scared. That my world will just continue to get smaller as those I love get fed up and leave.
I share this fear. Big love to you. ❤️
I am fearful that ‘this is it’ - that my life will never be more than what it is now. I feel like society has convinced me that 34 is old and I should just settle for what I have - but it feels so dissatisfying. I am fearful I’ll spend so much time trying to work out what I want that age will catch up with me.
So honest. Thank you. ❤️
I’m fearful that I’m going to be stuck in a cycle of feeling intense shame because I drink excessively and then coping with the shame by drinking to block it out
We believe in you. ❤️
I'm scared about going back to work after a period of stress leave.
Understandable. Hugs. ❤️
My fear is somewhat related to Gina’s. I’m scared of making the wrong decision about whether I want children or not. At the moment, I’m 70% sure that I want a child (no more than one though) but I’m scared I will regret it because as a highly sensitive person I need my alone time and time to recharge. I have a partner who would raise the child with me and even though I know he would pull his weight, how can I be sure I won’t end up having to raise our child alone like my mum did?
I feel you so hard. ❤️
Feeling exactly the same!
I am so scared about the direction the world/ the dominant societies within it, seem to be heading in. Everything feels so wrong and broken and to be getting worse. Be it backward legislation being implemented in a lot of nations, hate towards minority groups being not only tolerated but in a lot of cases celebrated, lack of serious action on climate change, inaction against the war atrocities taking place and all the while the general public are standing by, plodding along following the latest tik tok trend and buying Stanley cups. 🙃
I feel exactly the same. It's such a struggle and I'm with you. ❤️
You articulated what I wanted to say. It feels so scary.
I’m fearful that I’ve lost my chance of having someone I truly want in my life. That by choosing to heal myself, I’ve lost the chance to be with someone I want to welcome into this new and improved space.
Being single in your thirties is great, but increasingly challenging when you’re ready to find someone.
I’ve found men 30-40 date younger women. Or the men that are available are misogynistic or emotionally derelict. I crave the openness and the possibilities that dating provided when I was 21, but I wouldn’t want to go back.
It feels like the right person isn’t an option so I’ll be without one.
This is so deeply honest. We see you. ❤️
Death. It seems very "well duh" but it is all consuming. For context I'm 29 and have always had this fear/awareness of death. We've lost family members over the years and even in 2020, my ma's partner died. And in 2022 I lost my dog and I think this really intensified that fear/lack of control over people dying, as well as myself. My dog was my constant for over a decade then he wasn't. It has intensified health anxiety too within me. Every night I'm so scared of not waking up. Of waking up to news that friends have died. Especially friends that live in another country. I live at home with my ma. Just this morning I woke earlier than usual. And usually I can hear her getting ready for work, this morning I couldn't and rushed to her room. She had been up and getting ready I just didn't hear her. But the fear I have of her dying and me not doing something to stop it. But that general fear of death in every capacity is so exhausting. It just leaves me in a constant state of emotional agony. And thinking what's the point of starting anything when it will be taken away? People will be taken away. The thing is it's inevitable. I know these things will happen. But it terrifies me. I find it so hard to take a step in any direction in my life, it feels like if I allow myself to be happy, if I relax on this, that's when it will happen to remind me of why I'm in this state of fear. It makes it very hard to be living instead of just existing.
Oof. Anyways. Sending love to all sharing their fears. No matter what form it comes in❤️
I realised I was sat here with my hand on my heart reading this. You are so brave. From my heart to yours. ❤️
I had this. I always had health / death anxiety which got really bad when I had children. I went to therapy and it actually helped me a lot. I no longer spend all my time thinking and worrying about it. I was incredibly lucky to have done this prior to covid, as I think this would have been unbearable otherwise.
I am fearful of losing people I love and feeling like I didn't spend enough time with them or say/ask enough things to them. Forever feeling like there isn't enough time in the world to do everything I want to do with everyone I want to do it with, and feeling like I am failing in relationships because I can't give as much as I want to all of them. And then those people might be gone.
I feel this. ♥️
I'm fearful that life will never stop being exhausting - that the bad will constantly outweigh and taint the good both in my personal life and the wider world, that I will drag myself through each day saying "just get through this week, next week will be better" only for nothing to change. Is this it for the next 40, 50 years?
Such an honest share. Thank you ♥️
I'm scared about the political situation in the country really impacting a young person in my family's ability to live as the gender they know they are. It's so frightening to hear the rhetoric spewed by political parties and it is now influencing policy making (e.g. the recent ban on puberty blockers). I feel like we might need to leave the country for them to have a good quality of life, and the treatment they need but I don't know if we can (visas / work / other siblings) and also there are of course waiting lists to consider... Trans rights are human rights!
This is so hard. Sending you so much love.
I'm scared of never returning to what I was capable of, or even if I can't "return", then be able to actually achieve anything at all again.
Context: I recently experienced 2 life-changing events at the same time; a failed business (resulting in a lot of debt), and realising I'm autistic. Now I have severe burnout & depression, and can't envision things getting better (not for a lack of wanting or trying).
A huge hug to you. ♥️
I’m afraid that I’ve left it too late. I spent so many years minimising my childhood trauma, always keeping my pain hidden, presenting a version of myself that I thought was more palatable for others. I’m only now working out who I really am, at 42.
I’m fearful that the very close relationships I had with my brothers as children is dwindling. We live very separate lives now and so much is different - as it should be! But that doesn’t make the reality easier to sit with
I've recently had to come to terms with exactly this. I looked up to my sisters so much when I was growing up, but in the last 5 years I've slowly realised how much they (and I) have changed, and how it will never go back, that it was futile for me to be holding onto the idea that it might.
I’m fearful of some health tests I have over the next few weeks, the potential results and what that could mean for me. This said, it’s been an important reminder to always get things checked if something don’t feel right, and has made me feel gratitude for things that I normally take for granted while I’m in this weird in between phase.
Sending you well wishes. X
Sending you support Naomi. Waiting is so hard. ❤️
I am fearful of not getting a job (soon). My contract at my current job runs out next week, and both interviews I attended this week for other jobs came back with rejections. I am privileged enough that I will be alright for a little while if I can’t find work, but it is still a worry and the complete expanse of unstructured, unplanned time that is waiting for me feels scary.
Putting such vibes in the universe for you for this. ❤️
I would like to have children and hope that I’m able to…but I have PMDD and I’m scared that after children it will get worse (which is common) and I’m not sure I could handle that as it’s hard to get through it each month already. And then having to care for little ones while struggling through those dark feelings each month scares me.
This is so hard. Sending you the biggest love. ❤️
I’m scared to actually start living at 30 and why do I feel like my life is already over at 30. I worry I am never going to be good at anything and remain unemployed for this whole year. I’m so fearful if I start enjoying life and taking chances that it will all end in failure. I am currently upskilling again and I worry it’s all for nothing and I won’t get a job in the sector I am upskilling for.
Same fear on the children question, but being older and single I have to decide between 2 socially unacceptable things: the stigma of childlessness or that of parenting as an older single woman. The real fear though, is making the wrong decision due to societal pressure, and how to separate the two💔 so I guess it gets harder.. choose your flavour of stigma😂
I’m scared ill never really recover from my eating disorder
That must be very scary to deal with, they're so badly misunderstood. Wishing you the best X
I am sending you the biggest love. ❤️
I am afraid that I have made the wrong decisions in my life, based on fear maybe, and they have led me to a place that feels out of my control and like I have failed myself. I'm afraid that I won't be able to get out of this place, and I'm afraid of taking steps forward because they might be the wrong ones.
I definitely understand this fear, I wish you the strength and love to become free again in your life choices and go forwards xxx
The reason I followed Gina in the first place was to make sense of modern sexism and trying to come to terms with some of my own failed decisions. I think post WWII, various feminist movements gave us choices. But the society around us hasn't fully changed along with those choices. We are still burdened with fear of making the right choices, is it really our choice if we are coerced or intimidated into conforming to outdated systems? Whichever choice we make, we all get asked stupid questions at weddings - if we have no partner or are gay, it could be "when will you settle down and find a lovely young man?" if you do find the "lovely young man", it's then "when are you having the kids?" and even our jobs, and how far we chose to go in them is judged in a way men are not. We are so second-guessed so much and intimidated by genuine fears, that sure we make the wrong choices for ourselves. Maybe there is no wrong choice, there is just our genuine and desired choice but trying to listen to what our own heart wants is hard when it's drowned out by all the noise. Most men just don't suffer in this way and are brought up to think autonomously. Though I feel so sad when I hear younger women feeling the same fear I had that was disabling at times, I want to hug them and say just be you. You are wonderful as you, and you remain unchanged and just as wonderful are regardless of the odd wrong turn xox
..from someone who has had not so much a wrong turn so much as a complete detour!!!! but on track for a while and happy in myself now. So really I am hugging the old me too.
I’m fearful of making the wrong decision for ‘what’s next’ in my life. My contract is up next week, my house lease is up in 3 weeks.
I have job offers that will provide growth and solid income, but am considering putting everything in storage, travel and then move to the UK instead. Not because the UK is in a better position than AUS right now (the world is generally in a scary place), but because if I don’t do it now I will likely miss the chance. Big decision to pack up and leave. Equally big decision to stay and be comfortable.
I'm fearful of people who resent basic infrastructure and housing being built because they will fight tooth and nail over that but won't even pay attention to anything else because too many people don't see themselves as part of a society.